Family Movies for the Holidays

The holidays are here! And that means lots and lots of time spent with and around loved ones. What better way to spend that time than to share some laughter, right? Right.

The following movies are hysterically funny and are sure to bring out fits of laughter in both young and old. What's more, they are filled with messages about building character, developing healthy relationships and positive self-image.

Whether you will be gathering around the sofa with home-made popcorn or out to your favorite movie theatre, you will appreciate this family time spent together!

For more reviews, visit commonsensemedia.org.

Know your Rebecca St James songs!

Since Rebecca St James is coming to Erie on Sept 18 and 19th I thought you might enjoy watching a video from one of the songs she'll be performing.

Wait For Me.

Family Movie Night

Looking for a family friendly movie night? Look no further than Ramona and Beezus! This movie comes highly rated by our office staff and their families.

Filled with positive healthy relationships and good role models, this movie is guaranteed to be a new family favorite.

For more reviews, please visit commonsensemedia.org

Rebecca St. James in Concert!

SAVE the DATE!

Singer, performer, and actor, Rebecca St. James will be coming to Erie, PA for a benefit concert for the Women's Care Center.

Rebecca has won a Grammy award and multiple Dove awards for her talented work in the Christian music industry.

So mark the date on your calendar:

Sunday September 19, 2010 @ 7pm Rebecca St. James in concert at Erie First Assembly of God

For more information, visit our website or call our main office at (814) 836-7505

The Toy Story Dad... What's His Story?

The following blog is from the Father Factor, a blog by the National Fatherhood Initiative.

This past weekend, my family and I went to see "Toy Story 3." Wow. What a great movie! The dialogue was clever and humorous. The characters and the plot were compelling and entertaining, and the movie has a wonderfully engaging blend of drama and comedy. My sense is that the Toy Story series has run its course. If so, the creators of the series ended on a very high note.

However, there was one aspect of the movie that left me a bit "animated." The plot builds around the fact that Andy, who is now 17, has lost interest in playing with Woody, Buzz and the gang. Accordinly, the urgent crisis for the toys is what would become of them now that Andy would soon be heading off to college.

At one point, there is a scan of Andy's desk and you see a picture from his recent high school graduation. There are three smiling faces: Andy, his sister and his mom. So, for me, the stuffed elephant in the living room was... Where is Andy's dad and what's his story?

Now, I know that this is just a movie, but, unfortunately, art can imitate life. With 24 million kids living in father-absent homes, Andy's family situation is too real and too common for too many children. Nonetheless, this was not an accident or an oversight. Somewhere during the creative process someone made the call to erase dad. Moreover, he was deleted and no reference was made to him. And, well, I am just not comfortable with this new normal.

Interestingly, there was a scene in the movie where I got a sense that Andy was not too comfortable with this either. Near the end of the film, Andy is holding Woody for what will probably be the last time and he says that Woody is his most special toy and that he has been with him for as long as he can remember. He added that Woody was always there for him and, best of all, Woody would never give up on him, no matter what.

Now, you can dismiss this like so much "psycho babble," but it seems to me that Andy, through his imagination and play, ascribed to Woody the attributes of an involved, responsible, and committed father. And, if you followed the Toy Story series, this is exactly how Woody behaved. He was always focused on being there for Andy regardless of the challenges and obstacles. Interestingly, the magic that made Woody a "read" toy was his commitment to Andy, just like what makes a man a real father is his commitment to his children.

In fact, if anyone ever questioned his priorities and purpose, Woody was quick to show them the word "ANDY" written on the sole of his shoe in permanent marker. What an amazing metaphor for what happens to a man when he becomes a dad. I have heard numerous times from fathers how something changed inside of them when they held their child for the first time. Well, I think that children are born with "magic" markers and when their dads hold them for the first time, they write their names on their dad's souls to remind their fathers who they belong to.

I guess that's why I am a bit troubled by no reference or mention of Andy's dad. Because for all of the real "Andys" in the world, their history is linked to their destiny as men and as fathers. Accordingy, they have to come to grip with and make sense of their father's absence in a real way. And there is no erasing that.

Giving Booty Pop the BOOT

Yesterday I was reviewing our mailing and found myself flipping through the pages of a recent Bed Bath & Beyond flyer.

It was clearly the college edition with cute pictures of dorm room storage units, bedding sets, and even models wearing Snuggie "cap and gowns."

And then I turned to page 19. Amongst the curlers and straighteners was a picture of girl posing and a text bubble that read, "Do I even have a booty?"



Maybe I live in a cave that I've never heard of the Booty Pop, but that ad left me outraged. How dare they prey on the insecurity of soon-to-be college freshman girls who already are wondering if they have what it takes to survive college, let alone question the size of their God-given caboose!

Thoroughly upset about 1) what advetizers are getting away with, and 2) what girls are literally buying and figurally buying into, I began to investigate the website of Booty Pop.

Immediately upon opening the website are you are bommarded with before and after pictures, testimonials of people like Kelli Ripa, and cheesy lines like "the secret is out!" and "go from flat to fab in a POP!"

And then I saw this:

I realize it's hard to read, so let me reproduce it:

WARNING! Wearing Booty Pop panties has been known to make men notice...

(Notice what? How fake you are?)

The makers of Booty Pop are not responsible for all the extra attention you will receive as a result of wearing our product...

(Again, playing on the insecurity of girls who don't feel loved and desperately want attention. Girls, is falsely enhacing your body in anyway the solution? Will he truly LOVE you for who you are, instead of how you look? Or are you just lowering your standards?)

Subsequently the hiring of, and costs related to, additional personal security is the sole responsibility of the Booty Pop customer. (emphasis added)

(Whoa!! Let's talk about this. They are jokingly implying that you'll need to hire security because you'll get so much attention. Attention? Or physically attacked? I think that's called rape ladies, let's not confuse the two.)

I think it's about time we ladies stop buying into the lies of "you need this" and "you aren't beautiful" and need to start giving products like Booty Pop the BOOT.

41 Reasons...

...to wait to have sex.

Submitted by teens and originally posted on AC Green's Youth Foundation website.

1. I'd rather say no to my boyfriend than "Yes, I'm pregnant" to my parents.
2. To avoid STDs.
3. I don't want to feel guilty.
4. I don't want the reputation of being someone that people date because they expect to have sex.
5. I would disappoint my parents.
6. I might lose respect for the other person, he or she might lose respect for me, and I might lose respect for myself.
7. Sex is better in a secure, loving marriage relationship.
8. The thought of having an abortion scares me to death.
9. Sex gets in the way of real intimate communication.
10. Sexual relationships are a lot harder to break up even when you know you should.
11. I'm afraid it may ruin a good relationship rather than make it better.
12. There are better ways to get someone to like you.
13. You won't have to worry about birth control side effects.
14. I'm not emotionally ready for that intense of a relationship.
15. I could become scared of my partner.
16. I don't want to hurt someone I really care about.
17. Sex could become the central focus of the relationship, like an addiction. At that point it is no longer a meaningful relationship, but we are using each other to satisfy sexual desires.
18. You begin to compare sexual experiences, leading to lots of disappointments.
19. I don't want to make myself vulnerable to being used or abused sexually.
20. If I'm hurt too many times, I might miss out on something great because I'm so afraid of being hurt again.
21. I like my freedom too much. Sexual relationships are binding.
22. I'm only sixteen.
23. I'm proud of my virginity, and I want to stay that way.
24. Building a relationship in other ways is more important.
25. I don't want to risk becoming someone's sex object.
26. I want my first experience to be a good one with someone who won't laugh at me, reject me, or tell lies about me, and who I know will always be there tomorrow.
27. It's possible to enjoy ourselves without getting sexually intimate.
28. Why rush into something that could be lousy or mediocre now, when it could be great later?
29. I don't want sex to lose meaning and value so that I feel "sexually bankrupt."
30. I am afraid that at this age it might not meet my expectations, and I will be seriously disappointed.
31. I don't want to risk ending a relationship by our hating each other because of it.
32. I might find it painful and the other person rough and uncaring.
33. I don't want the boy to brag about scoring with me.
34. It's the safest way not to become pregnant.
35. You may feel invaded, and you can't take it back after it's happened.
36. You may have to grow up too fast and too soon.
37. Sex may become the only thing that keeps the relationship together.
38. You may have sex too early to really enjoy or understand it.
39. You lose the chance to experience the "first time" with someone who really cares for you.
40. I want my most intimate physical relationship to be with the one I marry.
41. Sex brings feelings of jealousy, envy, and possessiveness. Every relationship changes.

Beautiful, Must See Commercial!

Saw this new "wear your seat belt" commercial the UK is running and loved it. A beautiful depiction of why your loved ones want you to be safe.

And not only with wearing your seat belt, but also making healthy choices about drinking, drugs and premarital sex. Because when it comes down to it, poor choices always affect more people than just yourself. It affects everyone who cares about you.

Fathers Who Are Husbands Spare Children from Poverty

An excellent article by the Heritage Foundation, written by Ken McIntyre.

A wedding ring on Dad’s finger is more than a symbol of his commitment to Mom. It also proves to be the ultimate anti-poverty weapon for their children. Now that’s something to celebrate and encourage this Father’s Day. It’s fitting on Sunday to honor all the fathers who strive to keep that commitment, even when they grow weary.


“The principal cause of child poverty in the U.S. is the absence of married fathers in the home,” Robert Rector, senior research fellow in domestic policy studies at The Heritage Foundation, writes in a new paper. “Marriage is a powerful weapon in fighting poverty. Being married has the same effect in reducing poverty as adding five to six years to a parent’s education level.”

In the paper, accompanied by 12 new charts on marriage and poverty, Rector illustrates the severe social costs of record-high births outside marriage – and of homes without fathers.

The escalating rate of births to unmarried women – four of every 10 babies overall, but more than half the Hispanic births and a staggering seven of every 10 births for blacks – is driving the collapse of marriage in America, especially in lower-income neighborhoods.

As Rector writes:

Marriage matters. But mentioning the bond between marriage and lower poverty violates the protocols of political correctness. Thus, the main cause of child poverty remains hidden from public view. Since the decline of marriage is the principal cause of child poverty and welfare dependence in the U.S. …it would seem reasonable for government to take steps to strengthen marriage.

About two of every three poor children live in single-parent households. Yet if poor single moms married the fathers of their children, nearly two out of three would be lifted out of poverty.

And contrary to the mainstream media line, teen pregnancy is a small part of the picture: In 2008, the most recent year for which data is available, babies born to girls under 18 accounted for 130,000, or 7.5 percent, of the total 1.72 million out-of-wedlock births.

It’s not as simple as young men “manning up” and becoming the lawfully wedded husbands of their girlfriends, live-in or otherwise. These unmarried mothers tend to be in their 20s, without much income or education. They come to depend on public assistance; many learn how to work the welfare system.

Research shows that a child raised in a home where Dad is married to Mom is much less likely to live in poverty, get arrested as a juvenile, be suspended or expelled from school, be treated for emotional or behavioral problems, or drop out before completing high school. Taxpayers foot the bill for more than $300 billion a year in means-tested government spending on low-income single moms – and, in relatively rare cases, single dads.

One budding national leader, himself a young husband and father, nailed the poverty portion of the tragedy of absent fathers when he cited similar statistics five years ago and wrote:

In light of these facts, policies that strengthen marriage for those who choose it and that discourage unintended births outside of marriage are sensible goals to pursue.

Those words come from husband, father and then-Senator Barack Obama’s 2006 best-seller “The Audacity of Hope.” He was correct then, and he should implement marriage-strengthening policies today.

To reinvigorate marriage in lower-income neighborhoods, Rector suggests, government could start by providing facts on the role of healthy marriages in reducing poverty and improving the well-being of children. Why not teach skills for selecting a wife or husband? Why not explain the importance of developing a stable marital relationship before bringing children into the world?

Nothing could be further from government practice. In social service agencies, welfare offices, schools and popular culture across America, what Rector calls “a deafening silence” reigns on the topic of marriage. The welfare system actively penalizes low-income couples who do get married. He adds:

For most on the Left, marriage is, at best, an antiquated institution, a red-state superstition. From this viewpoint, the real task is to expand government subsidies as a post-marriage society is built.

Rather than adopt policies to reverse the 50-year spike in births outside marriage, though, President Obama in his 2011 budget “would eliminate the one program dedicated to encouraging healthy marriage,” notes Jennifer A. Marshall, Heritage’s director of domestic policy studies.

Marshall writes:

In its place would be a program promoting a notion of ‘fatherhood’ that doesn’t involve the father being married or in the home. The facts speak for themselves. It’s time more policymakers noticed what the facts are saying.

Something to think about, Mr. President. Happy Father’s Day.

Love Shouldn't Hurt

Dating violence is a serious issue which isn't ignored at the Women's Care Center. From our staff who counsels couples towards healthy relationships to our educators in the classroom teaching on the "con games" in relationships, we are developing hope in and for our community.

That is why this recent blog by I Am That Girl was so sad to me. Sad because it involved dating violence in my hometown of Charlottesville, VA. Violence which ended in a murder. Sad because no one said anything. Sad because it could have been prevented.

Love Shouldn't Hurt

by Ashley Thill

Could she have been saved? That is the question on the minds of many after the death of Yeardley Love. Love was a lacrosse player for the women’s team at the University of Virginia. She was a beautiful and sweet 22-year-old, set to graduate. She was found dead in her apartment nearly a month ago. Her ex-boyfriend, George Huguely, a fellow lacrosse player on the men’s team, stands accused in the case of her murder. After the story broke, more news came forward about Huguely’s violent and obsessive ways. Those near Love and Huguely seemed to recognize his temper and his fixation on Love. Yet no one came forward or said anything. This is why the University of Virginia and the nation is reeling about whether Yeardley Love’s murder could have been prevented.

Huguely’s lawyers are calling his actions “an accident with a tragic aftermath.” However, dating violence is no accident and should not be treated as such. The National Violence Against Women Survey, co-sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the National Institute of Justice, reported that nearly 25% of women report being physically assaulted or raped in their lifetime. That adds up to nearly 4.8 million female victims of intimate partner violence each year.

Many young people who are victims of dating violence often don’t realize that there is something wrong. They have little experience and may think that it is “normal” relationship behavior or it will stop. Obviously, none of the people around Love thought to go to someone about Huguely’s behavior toward her nor does it appear that Love did so herself.

Dating violence isn’t just physical either. The CDC classifies different forms of dating violence as verbal, emotional, physical and sexual. The last two are often the most focused on but verbal and emotional abuse can take a toll; they also may be the least recognizable. These types can be confused as teasing (such as when dating partners call each other names) or as a sign of love, like when someone threatens to hurt him or herself if a partner expresses desire to end the relationship.

The most important thing is to educate adolescents so they learn from a young age to recognize dating violence. Incorporating curriculum about dating violence into health classes is one way to ensure young people are exposed to signs of violence and abuse early.

The saddest part of this whole story is that Love’s death probably could have been prevented, if someone had intervened. Now not only is this young woman dead, but Huguely faces life in prison. If something had been done, both Love and Huguely could have gone on to lead fulfilling lives. It’s our turn as a society to learn something from this tragedy and prevent cases like it form happening in the future.