No Joke: Marriage is Good for You!

By Frank Vascellaro
WCCO News, Minnesapolis

Dr. William Doherty, a professor at the University of Minnesota, says that in marriage, good enough is good.

When you got married, you probably heard a few ball-and-chain remarks, but those are just jokes. The reality is that marriage is good for you.

We asked three couples to tell us the favorite things their spouses do for them. Rich Goldsmith says his wife gives a pretty amazing scalp massage.

"She'll just kind of rub my head and it's like, oh, it just kind of caps off my day, makes it nice and takes some of the stress away," He said.

Kari Anderson Slade tried to tell us about her husband Mark's great bear hugs, but her daughter interrupted her.

"And that answers the question," said Kari with a laugh. "We don't do anything for each other anymore because we have her."

Tony Richardson loves something his wife Bridget does every weekend.

"She lets me sleep late on Saturdays," he said.

Their marriages might not be perfect, but they don't have to be.

William Doherty, a professor at the University of Minnesota, says that in marriage, good enough is good.

"A pretty good, a good enough marriage, is something that gives people a sense of stability, a security," he explained. "It's good for us. We kind of know that by common sense, but the research also supports it."

Doherty showed us a long list of the benefits of marriage, complete with citations. Married people have more money. They're happier. They're healthier. They live longer. And their kids do better.

Doherty, who's been married to his wife Leah for 38 years, has a theory about the health benefits of marriage. It's not molecular theory, but a mole theory. He says it's not just that your wife "has your back." She sees it, too.

"Who else except somebody you're married to you sees moles on your back than your spouse, and your spouse may say, 'That looks suspicious, you should have the doctor see that,'" said Doherty. "First of all, it's somebody you're married to who saw it, and secondly it's someone who's going to nag you to go to the doctor."

See the video clip of this news report by clicking here.

Sick of the Lies

For years now, photoshop and other programs have been used to bring normal models to barbie like proportions and out-of-this-world unattainable beauty. I thought I had seen it all, like the slimming of waists, filling out of breasts, and the removing of wrinkles. Take for instance the images of Jessica Alba below. The left is the original, and the right is after the airbrushing.

But the airbrushing has now gone to new levels. I recently received a link to an article called "Image of ultra-thin Ralph Lauren model sparks outrage." The image is incredibly disturbing. The model's body has been distorted using technology, but goes way beyond "trimming and slimming" to the point of making her look like an anorexic.

Here is how the article from Yahoo put it, "The latest such image to cause an uproar is one featured in a new Ralph Lauren advertisement that shows a model, Filippa Hamilton, so emaciated that her waist actually appears to be smaller than her head." Here is the image...brace yourself!

Crazy huh? And we wonder why our young girls have such a distorted picture of beauty! Despite all the bad messages out there, we are lucky to have a few individuals and a few organizations that care enough to stand up and say something. Here are a few that I would recommend:

1. America the Beautiful. A new documentary due out on DVD this fall that asks the question: "Is America obsessed with beauty?" Click the link to watch the trailer and find out how you can get your copy!
2. Operation Beautiful. An organization who hosts a wonderful blog with a simple mission: to post anonymous notes in public places for other women to find. The point is that WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. You are enough... just the way you are!
3. Campaign for Real Beauty. Hosted by Dove, this campaign uses video clips and advertising to show young girls what real beauty is about. Below is one of their fantastic videos. Pass it on!

A Local Erie College discusses "Hooking Up and Breaking Down: the Missing Links in Relationships"

It's been a few days since we last published a post. Why? Because we've been too busy!! What a great problem to have. We love interacting with teens and college students. Here is a recent article written by a college student after attending one of our events...

Rappers discuss hook ups, college life
By: Krista Mershimer, staff writer for Gannon Knight News
Gannon University, Erie PA

College is a period of discovery, whether it is educational, spiritual or political. It can also be sexual, a difficult subject to talk about when perceptions about sex and relationships conflict.


This was the topic of discussion in Club LaRiccia Tuesday night: “Hooking Up and Breaking Down: The Missing Link in Relationships.” Sponsored by the Gannon Social Work Club, Students for Life and Student Health Services, the discussion brought together representatives from WC2 ed, a division of the Women’s Care Center, and hip hop artist/speaker Los 1 to reinforce the need for healthy relationships.

Presentation specialist Patty Fitzgerald said that her college experience was important for her personal growth.

“College was a time to make or break me – a defining time,” she said. “Knowledge is power, especially when it comes to healthy relationships.”

The discussion emphasized the four C’s of dating and relationships: communication, cohabitation, consequences and commitment – topics that are often taboo in many relationships. Students were encouraged to interact (pictured below - Katie Cogswell/ Knight) with a panel of their peers and with married couples who discussed issues ranging from first impressions and true love to separation and divorce.

In between role-playing activities, the powerful lyrics of Los 1’s “LifeSkills” CD permeated the room speaking to students about having a positive self-image, making good choices and respecting themselves. Trained to teach lessons on character and sexual purity to teens, the Brooklyn native uses his music to reinforce learning as he travels from school to school across America.

Los 1 (pictured above - Katie Cogswell/ Knight) said the main issue is perception.

“Kids today see sex in the media, on TV, in music, in school and they need a way to navigate through all of it,” he said. “We need to teach these kids to care about themselves.”

Social Work Club President Chris Frye said that sex and relationships need to be discussed.

“It’s real-life stuff and it’s not to be played with,” the senior social work major said. “Having advice from professionals instead of friends can help students make better choices in their relationships.”

Sophomore nursing major Katie Bauer said that the most important thing couples can have in a relationship is compatibility.

“Know your values and stick to them,” Bauer said. “Know what you want out of the relationship and figure out your boundaries early on.”

Sophomore occupational therapy major Maria Crawford said that couples should also be able to trust their partners in any situation.

According to its Web site, the Women’s Care Center in Erie’s motto says it strives to faithfully empower teens to make the best decisions for their future by teaching values of character, healthy relationships and marriage.

“Our goal is to help these youth achieve optimal health and the best life advantage,” Fitzgerald said.

“Prevention is key because that’s how we avoid becoming just another statistic. Its never easy, but it’s common sense: anything worth having is worth working for.”

For more information about the Women’s Care Center, go to http://www.wc2ed.org/. Music from Los 1 can be found at http://www.los1.com/ or at www.myspace.com/los1music

KRISTA MERSHIMER
mershime001@gannon.edu