By Marybeth Hicks
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Last night for dinner, I served butternut squash. Despite the fact that I drizzled it with olive oil and seasoned it with salt and pepper and then roasted it until the flesh caramelized slightly and got all tender and yummy, I subsequently had to force-feed my four children to consume this delicious, nutritious vegetable.
Later in the evening, I chased two of my teenagers off to bed. I have to chase people to bed because if I don't, they would stay up until Conan O'Brien waves goodnight. Despite the fact that bed is a warm and comfy place where, once ensconced, these same teens would remain for upward of 14 hours at a stretch, I must still nag them to go there.
This morning, on the chance she didn't hear her alarm clock, I tiptoed through the dark into my daughter's bedroom to be sure she was up in time to finish her extra-credit trigonometry assignment.
Parenting is ever thus. We nag about food and rest and responsibilities because, even though nagging is unpleasant and even frustrating, it's the right thing to do. It's how we moms and dads implement our evil strategies to bring unhappiness upon our offspring - unhappiness disguised as good nutrition, ample sleep and academic achievement.
Every parent knows that doing what's good for our children doesn't always feel good to us. If you doubt this, think back to when your pediatrician first told you about rectal thermometers and why they were best for accuracy in diagnosing fevers in tiny babies.
Up to a point, we might agree that aspects of parenting that seem to cause discomfort to our children simply are necessary and no matter, because children don't really know what's good for them in the first place. We wrestle toddlers into car seats and chase wee ones to the end of the driveway and remove sharp objects from their grasps, but never regret foiling their desires to do whatever they please. Right?
Somewhere in between "buckle your seat belt" and "eat your squash," America's moms and dads have discovered guilt - and not guilt for doing a bad job with their kids, but guilt for doing a good job. Sounds screwy, but it's true.
Here's how it works: You create a policy in your home that reflects your values and that you think is best for your child. Say you decree no texting after dinner or no Facebook page for your middle-schooler. Perhaps you monitor your child's media choices more strictly than the parents of her peers, or you encourage her to pursue hobbies such as reading or crafts, rather than incessant text messaging as a way to pass the time. Sometimes, you even say "no" to social events in favor of family time or other activities.
You chug along happily enough until one evening, your sixth-grader lets you know that she's the only one at the school lunch table who missed last evening's barrage of text messages. Or she whines about not having a Facebook page while "everyone else" has one.
Suddenly the very policies you are certain contribute to your daughter's good grades and general sense of wholesomeness now have you feeling sheepish and even guilty - not because you think your policies are wrong but because your little dear must endure the social consequences of your good parenting.
At this point, you have two choices: Give in and enjoy the dysfunctional moment when caving makes you feel like a hero to your kid; or hold fast and remember that good parenting won't always feel good.
Ah, but nothing worth doing well is ever easy. Why should parenting be any different?
Source: Townhall.com
Copyright © 2008 Salem Web Network. All Rights Reserved.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
How much is virginity worth?
If you had to put a price tag on your virginity, what would be the dollar sign? Most would say "What a ridiculous question! Why would anyone try to put a monetary amount on something so special?!"
Unfortunately for those of us that share that perspective, it would appear that our view of humanity is too high. The shocking news is that a 22 year old college grad from San Diego, CA is making headline news with her intentions to sell her virginity to pay for grad school.
Using the alias Natalie Dylan, she has secured numerous talk shows and international news in which she proclaims:
"I don’t have a moral dilemma with it. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity? I understand some people may condemn me. But I think this is empowering. I’m using what I have to better myself."
Thankfully, some of the talk show hosts agree with the general public - this is prostitution and is completely absurd. Foremost among them is Tyra Banks who brought Natalie, her sister, in addition to a few bunnies from the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada along with the owner, Dennis Hof to her show.
Dennis, it appears is in full support of Natalie's decision and is happy to host the auction and latter "act" at his brothel. Is Dennis' motivation the liberation of woman and the freedom of sexual expression? Or perhaps he simply wants Natalie to get a good education. No...its rather the 50% cut from Natalie's earnings. And with the highest offers ranging from $1 million to $3.7 million, that's a lot of change in Dennis' pocket.
And the surprise guest on Tyra's show? One of Natalie's bidders! And guess what, he's a 56 year old man who admits "having a virgin" has been one of his "fantasies."
...sick...
As disgusting as this story is, it brings up a good talking point. Can you put a price tag on virginity? Is putting a price tag on your self - on your body - truly liberating? Or is it simply selling yourself into a form of temporary slavery where you are subject to the whims of the buyer?
At one point, Natalie stated that she won't have any harmful side effects by doing this. However, I believe she is underestimating the impact of being that vulnerable with a complete stranger.
Did you know that 2/3 teens regret losing their virginity? In addition, sexually active teens are more likely to be depressed and attempt suicide. Clearly the emotional factors associated with sex are strong! (See http://www.heritage.org/research/abstinence/cda0304.cfm for more info)
I only hope that Natalie will take Tyra Banks' advice: "Please make me proud and change your mind." Only then will she realize that she's worth more...infinitely more!
Unfortunately for those of us that share that perspective, it would appear that our view of humanity is too high. The shocking news is that a 22 year old college grad from San Diego, CA is making headline news with her intentions to sell her virginity to pay for grad school.
Using the alias Natalie Dylan, she has secured numerous talk shows and international news in which she proclaims:
"I don’t have a moral dilemma with it. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity? I understand some people may condemn me. But I think this is empowering. I’m using what I have to better myself."
Thankfully, some of the talk show hosts agree with the general public - this is prostitution and is completely absurd. Foremost among them is Tyra Banks who brought Natalie, her sister, in addition to a few bunnies from the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada along with the owner, Dennis Hof to her show.
Dennis, it appears is in full support of Natalie's decision and is happy to host the auction and latter "act" at his brothel. Is Dennis' motivation the liberation of woman and the freedom of sexual expression? Or perhaps he simply wants Natalie to get a good education. No...its rather the 50% cut from Natalie's earnings. And with the highest offers ranging from $1 million to $3.7 million, that's a lot of change in Dennis' pocket.
And the surprise guest on Tyra's show? One of Natalie's bidders! And guess what, he's a 56 year old man who admits "having a virgin" has been one of his "fantasies."
...sick...
As disgusting as this story is, it brings up a good talking point. Can you put a price tag on virginity? Is putting a price tag on your self - on your body - truly liberating? Or is it simply selling yourself into a form of temporary slavery where you are subject to the whims of the buyer?
At one point, Natalie stated that she won't have any harmful side effects by doing this. However, I believe she is underestimating the impact of being that vulnerable with a complete stranger.
Did you know that 2/3 teens regret losing their virginity? In addition, sexually active teens are more likely to be depressed and attempt suicide. Clearly the emotional factors associated with sex are strong! (See http://www.heritage.org/research/abstinence/cda0304.cfm for more info)
I only hope that Natalie will take Tyra Banks' advice: "Please make me proud and change your mind." Only then will she realize that she's worth more...infinitely more!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Flawed study on abstinence pledge
Washington, DC (LifeNews.com) --
A new study published by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health claims the abstinence pledges teens sign to refrain from sex until they're married are ineffective. The study claims teens signing such pledges are likely to engage in premarital sex and more likely not to use birth control.
The JHU study examined federal data and found that more than half of teens became sexually active before marriage regardless of whether they signed the abstinence pledge or not.
"Taking a pledge doesn't seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior," HU researcher Janet Rosenbaum said. "But it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking."
The study only included 289 students who were 17 in 1996 when they took the virginity pledge and compared with them 645 students who did not take a pledge.
(FYI - Abstinence funding didn't start until Nov of 1997, so this data looked at students receiving "virginity pledges" prior to abstinence programming!!)
By 2001, JHU found 82 percent of those teens taking a pledge had broken their no-premarital-sex promise.
"It seems that pledgers aren't really internalizing the pledge," Rosenbaum told the Washington Post. "It seems like abstinence has to come from an individual conviction rather than participating in a program."
However, the study appeared to indicate that the abstinence programs are not ineffective -- they're just not reinforced by either the schools, parents or society.
Five years after taking a virginity pledge more than 80 percent of pledgers denied ever making such a promise.
That is a point Valerie Huber of the National Abstinence Education Association made in her comments to the Post -- which had her saying the study was flawed and too ideological.
"It is remarkable that an author who employs rigorous research methodology would then compromise those standards by making wild, ideologically tainted and inaccurate analysis regarding the content of abstinence education programs," Huber said.
Huber points to other data showing abstinence education programs effective.
She points to research from Dr. Stan Weed, leading researcher on youth behavior and President of The Institute for Research and Evaluation.
His studies show abstinence education can cut in half the rates of teen sexual activity, and that abstinence education classes do not deter sexually active teens from using condoms.
"Not only do Dr. Weed's studies provide proof that abstinence education is the best health message for teens," Huber said, but she says his research shows "so-called comprehensive sex education has little evidence of success."
"Contraception based programs spend less than 10 percent of class time promoting abstinence," Huber said.
Huber also points to an October 2008 study in the Journal of Adolescent Health by several researchers showing that those who pledged to abstain from sex were much more likely to do so than their peers.
“In the absence of pledging, an estimated 42.4 percent of virgins with characteristics indicating an inclination to pledge initiate intercourse within three years. In the presence of the pledge, 33.6 percent of such youth initiate intercourse," the study found.
Pledgers were also no less likely to use a condom than their peers, that study found.
Some 17 states have decided to reject the abstinence funds from the federal government because their governors or state legislatures want to promote comprehensive sexual education.
The findings of the new study were published in the January issue of the journal Pediatrics.
Related web sites:National Abstinence Education Association - http://www.abstinenceassociation.org/
A new study published by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health claims the abstinence pledges teens sign to refrain from sex until they're married are ineffective. The study claims teens signing such pledges are likely to engage in premarital sex and more likely not to use birth control.
The JHU study examined federal data and found that more than half of teens became sexually active before marriage regardless of whether they signed the abstinence pledge or not.
"Taking a pledge doesn't seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior," HU researcher Janet Rosenbaum said. "But it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking."
The study only included 289 students who were 17 in 1996 when they took the virginity pledge and compared with them 645 students who did not take a pledge.
(FYI - Abstinence funding didn't start until Nov of 1997, so this data looked at students receiving "virginity pledges" prior to abstinence programming!!)
By 2001, JHU found 82 percent of those teens taking a pledge had broken their no-premarital-sex promise.
"It seems that pledgers aren't really internalizing the pledge," Rosenbaum told the Washington Post. "It seems like abstinence has to come from an individual conviction rather than participating in a program."
However, the study appeared to indicate that the abstinence programs are not ineffective -- they're just not reinforced by either the schools, parents or society.
Five years after taking a virginity pledge more than 80 percent of pledgers denied ever making such a promise.
That is a point Valerie Huber of the National Abstinence Education Association made in her comments to the Post -- which had her saying the study was flawed and too ideological.
"It is remarkable that an author who employs rigorous research methodology would then compromise those standards by making wild, ideologically tainted and inaccurate analysis regarding the content of abstinence education programs," Huber said.
Huber points to other data showing abstinence education programs effective.
She points to research from Dr. Stan Weed, leading researcher on youth behavior and President of The Institute for Research and Evaluation.
His studies show abstinence education can cut in half the rates of teen sexual activity, and that abstinence education classes do not deter sexually active teens from using condoms.
"Not only do Dr. Weed's studies provide proof that abstinence education is the best health message for teens," Huber said, but she says his research shows "so-called comprehensive sex education has little evidence of success."
"Contraception based programs spend less than 10 percent of class time promoting abstinence," Huber said.
Huber also points to an October 2008 study in the Journal of Adolescent Health by several researchers showing that those who pledged to abstain from sex were much more likely to do so than their peers.
“In the absence of pledging, an estimated 42.4 percent of virgins with characteristics indicating an inclination to pledge initiate intercourse within three years. In the presence of the pledge, 33.6 percent of such youth initiate intercourse," the study found.
Pledgers were also no less likely to use a condom than their peers, that study found.
Some 17 states have decided to reject the abstinence funds from the federal government because their governors or state legislatures want to promote comprehensive sexual education.
The findings of the new study were published in the January issue of the journal Pediatrics.
Related web sites:National Abstinence Education Association - http://www.abstinenceassociation.org/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)